Alice Cooper Wants to Be Elected- Again

Rock and Roll Hall of Famer Alice Cooper, now on tour with Hollywood Vampires, has suffered in silence over the decades as his innovations of image, stage craft, and hard rocking sound have been appropriated by KISS, Motley Crue, Guns’n’Roses, and Marilyn Manson, but Alice will not be trumped by rank amateur political poseurs this election year. Alice Cooper,” a troubled candidate for troubled times”, wants to be “Elected“!

alice-cooper-elected-2016You want to talk experience? Alice Cooper has run for president every four years since 1972. That’s more than Pat Paulsen and Ralph Nader combined. Alice is comfortable in black limousines and security details; clearly loves animals, yet is a BIG believer in capital punishment. Gallows, guillotines, electric chair, it’s all good. Alice Cooper led the way on campaign finance reform, buying votes in concert years before Citizens United. Here are some of Alice Cooper’s five point plan:

-Getting Brian Johnson back in AC/DC

-Adding Lemmy to Mt. Rushmore

-Groucho Marx on the $50 bill

-Cupholders on every airplane seat

-A ban on taking selfies, except on designated federal Nation Selfie Day

With Alice Cooper, unlike another candidate, you never have to worry whether the first name has one “L” or two. “Alice Cooper: a name you can spell.” And since Alice has been struggling with gender identity for almost half a century, it’s a no-brainer for the LGBT folks! ( Alice uses whichever public restroom doesn’t play Muzak ). Alice Cooper is the man or woman for the job! Visit http://www.votealicecooper.com  but first crank up this new version of “Elected”!- Redbeard

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